Thursday, January 3, 2013

The Resolutions

I LOVE making New Year Resolutions!
Its a time for endless possibilities, time to dream, time to improve, time to throw away all that hasn't worked or held me down and start anew.
People who balk a New Years Resolutions annoy me. 
Yes I understand that often people make promises and they don't keep them, Yes I even understand that sometimes they don't intend to keep them, but to spend a few moments at least dreaming of what you can become can take you places.  Its like the ONE time everyone stops and actually daydreams about something BETTER.
There are soo many things I want to improve this year.  I want to write more, knit more, play outside more, paint more, cook more, explore more, read MORE. 
The details on how to accomplish all of this are still a little fuzzy but I know they are important because they are all things that make me happy. 
And they are all things that have taken a backseat in 2012.
Don't get me wrong last year was GREAT!  Nothing can compare to the birth of a child, and yet there were some definite struggles through last year.  Things that left me on my knees clawing at the very existence of God, begging for help, demanding answers, and sometimes even throwing tantrums at the ones I received. 
Mostly though 2012 was a year that I gave away to others.  I gave all my time to my children, your children, children I didn't even know... I gave my body over to grow a child, my mind over to worry over a loved one, and my sleep to all the above.
I don't regret a minute of it, but the stark cold reality of it is that all that giving away has left me a little more weathered in the face, seasoned in the hair, and scattered in the mind.
In short it left me old.
I am 32.  I am not old.
So this year while I still have the needs of a lot of others to care for, I HAVE to care for me too.  Because if I don't ... well you think you can throw a tantrum.  You haven't seen mine lol.
First things first is getting this body working again.
That means being healthy.
There are a lot of aspects of health but right now I am to tired to be a philosopher.  I just need this machine to work again.  And thankfully I have a partner willing to help.  But that is for another post.  For now, Lillian is asleep so I must follow her example..  Good night

1 comment:

Angela said...

You are back!! Love ya!!

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