The Resolutions

I LOVE making New Year Resolutions!

Its a time for endless possibilities, time to dream, time to improve, time to throw away all that hasn't worked or held me down and start anew.

People who balk a New Years Resolutions annoy me. 

Yes I understand that often people make promises and they don't keep them, Yes I even understand that sometimes they don't intend to keep them, but to spend a few moments at least dreaming of what you can become can take you places.  Its like the ONE time everyone stops and actually daydreams about something BETTER.

There are soo many things I want to improve this year.  I want to write more, knit more, play outside more, paint more, cook more, explore more, read MORE. 

The details on how to accomplish all of this are still a little fuzzy but I know they are important because they are all things that make me happy. 

And they are all things that have taken a backseat in 2012.

Don't get me wrong last year was GREAT!  Nothing can compare to the birth of a child, and yet there were some definite struggles through last year.  Things that left me on my knees clawing at the very existence of God, begging for help, demanding answers, and sometimes even throwing tantrums at the ones I received. 
Mostly though 2012 was a year that I gave away to others.  I gave all my time to my children, your children, children I didn't even know... I gave my body over to grow a child, my mind over to worry over a loved one, and my sleep to all the above.
I don't regret a minute of it, but the stark cold reality of it is that all that giving away has left me a little more weathered in the face, seasoned in the hair, and scattered in the mind.
In short it left me old.
I am 32.  I am not old.
So this year while I still have the needs of a lot of others to care for, I HAVE to care for me too.  Because if I don't ... well you think you can throw a tantrum.  You haven't seen mine lol.
First things first is getting this body working again.
That means being healthy.
There are a lot of aspects of health but right now I am to tired to be a philosopher.  I just need this machine to work again.  And thankfully I have a partner willing to help.  But that is for another post.  For now, Lillian is asleep so I must follow her example..  Good night

Best Year End EVER!!

Days leading up to New Years Eve we had not put much thought into any real activities...

I mean the idea of staying up PAST my children sleeping and missing those moments where I can close my eye myself?

Not appealing at all. :)

But all of a sudden we did have plans and we gathered the kids and the camera and headed to the church.

 

To witness a Baptism.

It was the best way to end 2012.

After the wet hugs and well wishes we went home for an improvtu fire and smores.

Then we got back to the "real plan" and went to bed right at midnight. 

Happy 2013!!

 



Happy New Year!

Lordy it has been almost a year since my last post!  Time sure does fly when you are having fun!  Now we are embarking upon a brand spankin New Year and boy am I excited. 

2012 was a year of growth for our family as we added a new member to the family,

 Miss Lillian Corynne Fambro.

  I will write her story soon as it is a tale that MUST be told :)

For now I just wanted to embrace this space again and say hi old friend I have missed you!

Blessings to All! 

Finally releasing the fear.

Wow.

The past few months I have spent a LOT of time in prayer and fear.

The moment we found out we were expecting feelings I thought I had long laid aside came rushing back.

For a while I wasn't even sure how to really be excited. Making it 13 weeks seemed like forever in terms of not knowing.

Which is why I really tried to hide it all. While Mike and I discussed constantly our possible need to let more people in on our secret, we also know that in terms of miscarriage bad news didn't seem to travel as fast as good news last time and as close as I was already to my "edge" I refused to go through all of that again. So for better or worse, we decided to just sit on it, whisper our fears in the dark and pray constantly that we would never have to revisit that again.

To be honest it made the whole process miserable.

Then we told the kids.

While I was still very much afraid that after telling the kids we would have to find a way to break bad news to them, the excitement that Jakob has had ever since has been intoxicating to say the least.

And then we heard THE most beautiful sound in the world.

Actually HEARING my child's life force gave me hope.

Leaving the midwife's office, she even noted that I was smiling a lot more.

"You can breathe now" is what I have to keep telling myself.

I never thought after all we worked towards to get pregnant that I would actually be paralyzed with fear by the one thing that I had wanted so much.

But its getting better. Each day is a victory, each excited announcement that my son makes, and each time he asks to look at the book to see how big the baby is NOW makes it easier.

Slowly but surely I am becoming less afraid and more excited.

We're going to have a baby!

:)

"Mom, I want a better New Year"

This is what my son said to me New Year's Eve as we went around the table discussing our hopes and dreams for 2012.

Confused I asked what he meant. (all the while Mommy guilt rolling, Why wasn't this year great?)

"Mom, I just want us to not be so busy. We aren't as nice to each other when we are busy. I just want to slow down and be home."

Wow

It's amazing how God puts things in your path. I have been restless for a while over our schedules and errands. I have tried to put it all out of my mind justifying that, "It's for the kids, they are having fun, we can rest later."

Seems as though if I refuse to listen to my inner voice, He will make sure I am convicted by other means.

So yes, we want to make this year better. We want to make it slower, nicer, more enjoyable. We want to revel in the fun times we have, without having to rush, rush, rush to our next appointed event.

I definitely want to listen to the wise words of my child.

THAT will surely help me in my path to Peace I spoke of before.

With the promise of a new family member arriving we know that life will HAVE to slow down at some point, but we have made a pact to try and take a more deliberate pace even before the baby comes. Because I want us to be "nicer" to one another too.

What about you. Have you felt the urge to slow your pace? Do you feel as though there are things that need to be weeded out of your schedule so that everyone can actually have the time to enjoy one another?

Reflections on the Year and The Word

I cannot believe this is the final day of 2011.

Wow time has literally flown.

This year was a grand one for us as a family even though there wasn't much evidence of it here. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to document more of our adventures, but not sorry at all that I chose to live our life, explore our new community, and spend every moment we could enjoying life.

Oftentimes that left little to no energy for documentation.

Oh well.

I'm hoping now that we are somewhat settled, and the winter chill has slowed our schedule ever so slightly, that I will have more time to devote to this space.

The promise of exciting news, experiences, choices, and even a new family member already means that 2012 looks to be another fabulous year for the Fambros.

With all that said I have been thinking about my word for the year. This past year I chose quite a few and although at some point I think that I had visited each attribute a little, there was one that I feel needs its own year of focus.

Peace

The word Peace came up a few weeks ago, when I was having a particularly hard time with someone.

I messaged our minister's wife for advice and prayer on the matter to which she replied with Romans 12:18

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

My first thought was, "Sure! I can PEACE this person right on out of my life! Good riddance!

But then I re-read the passage, it says to LIVE at peace with everyone, if it is possible. I began rethinking how I can better LIVE at peace with others, myself, my family and have decided to truly focus on this for my personal goal this year.

What does living at Peace mean for me?

It means that I will work to accept that which I cannot change, it does not mean that I will not continue to improve.

It means that I will accept the decision of others who choose not to remain friends, it does not mean I will love them any less.

It means that I will work to choose a gentle loving tone even in discipline with my children, it does not mean that they get to rule the roost.

It means that I will carefully consider my commitments so as to not overload myself, it does not mean that I will not fulfill that which I have already committed to.

Most importantly for me right now it means that I will work to faithfully attend to friends and family's needs, but it does not mean that I will constantly jump up to be the "saving grace" in all their problems.

It will be a lot of work, but as always I hope that it teaches me to be a better person, mother, wife, and friend.

So do you have any resolutions, words, or things you would like to learn in 2012?

Today...

Today the lesson was rest,
And how steam unclogs your nose best.
Our textbook was a tissue pressed against our nose,
and NO bending over lest our head explodes.
Hot tea with honey and lunch in bed,
"I'm so sorry I can't help you.", the boy said.

But today I am thankful not that you're sick,
but for the extra hugs, the stories read, and our slow deliberate
pace.
Caring, cleaning, tending, loving.
That was the lesson for today.